Two for the Price of One
by Vampire Louis
Summary: Is it better to feel and be human or to lose touch of that and become nothing more than an organic machine?" (One Shot from Ken's POV. KenYohji; YohjiAya)


**Two for the Price of One**

Pairing: Ken/Yohji; Yohji/Aya (all one sided?)

Rated: Pg

Warnings: Implied yaoi and a swear word or two.

Legal stuff: Well... I think it's obvious but I'll state it anyway. I down own them! Please don't sue me? I'm poor... seriously...

Author notes: Ano… I'm not really sure where this came from but I like it. It's a good breather from '_To Destroy The One You Love' _(which I am still working diligently on).

Feedback: I'll admit it, I'm a review whore.

Thanks to: Lys and Sywren for looking this over for, it's deeply appreciated my dears. Andto my readers just because.

* * *

You're staring off into space again, watching some imaginary movie play inside your head as you tune out the rest of us. I can't say that I'm not jealous of your ability to simply zone out and forget the world for short amounts of time, because I am. I hear people whisper rumors that you're not just watching that movie of yours while you daydream, but that you're watching it all the time. You're living life as if it were just some television program and not your reality. 

How lucky you must be to disconnect yourself from this tragedy that the rest of us have to face head on. I have no escape like you, though people may believe otherwise. I have no dark theater inside my head that I can sit in and watch my life as I live it like some apathetic outsider. No, I'm stuck feeling it, breathing it, living it but, maybe... maybe that's not really such a bad thing. Is it better to feel it all and be human or to lose touch of that and become nothing more than an organic machine? Man, I don't know anymore...

My fingers grace over a pale colored rose and I frown to myself, ripping my gaze away from you to the plant life inside my hand. I want to crush it. I want to destroy something beautiful to show my frustration towards you and your apathy. I want it to be the symbol of everything I hate in you so that I can feel better when I smash those petals against my skin and liberate it from the life it was living. Yeah, I'm kind of crazy but I figure every other person is too, it's just a matter of how well you can hide it from the others.

Metal groans and I shift my eyes over towards the stairs to see another teammate descend. This may sound odd at first but he's just like you, did you know that? He has that same vacant expression half the time, as if he too has found a way to detach himself from his life and the whole fucking world. I swear I just want to slap that blank expression off your faces whenever you two glance my way. Well... maybe more you than him. I don't care about him. He can live in his little fortress all by himself if he wants because I don't think he has anything worth saving inside. Unlike you. At least I know _you're_ alive inside because you can still cry in earnest and you are still haunted by guilty sins of your past. I doubt he even knows what guilt is.

You turn to look at him and for a second he spares you a glance and, in that moment, I want nothing more than to kill him. I can see flickers of distant emotions sparkle around you like some sort of sick hope that _you_ aren't even aware is there. Did you know you look like you're longing for something whenever you see him? It makes me sick. I hate how _he_ is the one who can shake you into reality for a brief moment, how _he's_ the one that cracks your masks and almost constant apathy. I hate it because _he_ doesn't give a shit if you live or die, let alone if you're feeling empty inside. I doubt he even knows _how_ to properly handle emotions. He'll only break you and walk away, you deserve better than that. You deserve someone like-

The bell from up front rings and a customer steps in, causing my train of thought to derail and crash in a splendor of twisted images and flames. I look to you as you immediately put on a friendly smile and saunter your way over to see if you can be of any help. God I wish you wouldn't do that. It drives us all insane, albeit for different reasons, the way you act towards strangers… especially women. **He** gets pissed off because he thinks you're probably displaying a weakness, the chibi gets pissed off because you're not doing what you're supposed to be doing and _I_ get pissed off because you're faking it. Why can't you just fucking be real for once? Why can't you just drop that playboy mask and start acting like a human being? You didn't always used to be this way... once upon a time you used to have a soul.

Okay… that was harsh. You _do_ still have a soul but you've locked it away with your heart and real feelings. You're afraid they're going to get damaged and I guess... I guess I can't really blame you for doing it but, damn it Yohji, look what it's done to you! Look what you've become. There has to be a way to stop this chaos and get you to feel again. There _has_ to be a way to bring you back to life...

However, I'm afraid...

My hand starts to ache and I look down to notice that I had been gripping the stem of the rose too hard. Blood is welling up inside my palm from the thorns and this only serves to piss me off even more. Of course I swear out loud and get handed an annoyed look from our "esteemed" leader while _you_ go on doing what you were doing. You don't even look my direction to see if I'm okay. Fine, fucking pretend you can't hear me.

I'm afraid that...

Oh wait... you probably _can't_ hear me. Damn it. I walk to the back sink and start to rinse off my hand, hissing slightly as the water stings my cuts for a minute.

I hate roses.

Aya steps into the back a minute later, probably retrieve a pot or something, though he pauses to glance at what I'm doing. As if to make sure I'm not wasting water or something equally as asinine as that.

I'm afraid that the only way to save you...

"You should try to be less careless Hidaka." Fuck off.

"You think?"

"Hn."

... Is to get him to care too.

Have I mentioned I hate Aya?

* * *

La Fin. 


End file.
